“Most people fear pain. I’ve learned that not feeling pain is a much more frightening proposition than actually feeling it.”
– Mark Zupan in his book GIMP
For the third issue in a row we are going to talk about why people are not successful. No I am not talking about material success or success in the court of public opinion. I am talking about success with inner peace. One of the main reasons why people never find inner peace is fear of pain in its many manifestations. When one thinks of pain, he or she may envision physical pain. However, there are many forms of pain that are far more subtle and equally debilitating.
The pain of change is one of the main reasons why people simply do not change. Easier to be the person you are no matter how much you hate it as at least it is comfortable. Better the you that you know rather than the unknown right? Not likely. God forbid you leave your home town and find success in a strange new land. Heaven forbid you ditch all of the negative losers in your life that have been clearly holding you back. Remember, you are the sum total of people in your life. Read that line again and let it sink in. Do not kid yourself into thinking that the people in your life do not have a significant influence on you.
When people send you negativity you need to shut them down right away. Otherwise, their negativity will penetrate your subconscious mind in ways you may not be aware of. Most people are clearly not aware of the negative energy that penetrates the subconscious mind. It penetrates our minds and spreads like cockroaches in a NYC apartment. Similar to the necessity to clear harmful estrogens from our bodies, we need to clear harmful negativity from our minds. The first way to clear negative energy is to not let it set in. When someone sends you negative energy, call them out on it. Tell them to their faces that you will not let their negative energy in and to take it somewhere else. State clearly that you know what they are trying to do and you will not let them get away with it. Just last week I had someone email me and call me a liberal moron with a black girlfriend. He conveyed to me that I am idiot for trying to raise funds for Katrina victims. He stated that the Katrina victims are all losers and deserve what they got. I thanked him for his honest comments and invited him to state his racist comments to my face in person. After all you should never email someone something that you are not prepared to convey face to face. I also stated that racist pricks like him are pathetic to clear my conscious. Again call people out for what they are and move on. Ignoring bullies is not the solution and never has been.
There is not much I hate more than racism especially when it is directed towards my woman. I have been on the receiving end of racism many times and it is one of the most powerful creators of internal negativity. Moreover, I have zero respect for people that talk tough online. I do however have respect for people that have the courage to state what they believe in person no matter how much I disagree with. I am always amazed by how different many people are in the real world than their internet personas. However, that is a topic for another issue.
Every time you let the energy vampires have a piece of you, a piece of you dies and that is not acceptable. You need to value your life more than that. Once your subconscious mind reaches a threshold of negativity you will become a broken person and there is no going back. We have all met people like this and it is unpleasant to say the least. While I have no scientific studies to back up it up, I am of the opinion that many diseases and illnesses stem from an abundance of negative energy that was never cleared.
Now is the time to clear the negative energy out of your life. Stop distracting yourself with movies, TV shows, workouts, books, magazines, superficial conversations, and whatever other coping mechanism you use to avoid change. Forget about talking about the weather and worrying about what your favorite celebrities are up to. Who cares? Forget about changing to make money, get in great shape, get physically stronger, more intelligent, or more interesting. Of course those are all important goals. However, achieving those goals and losing the internal battle within will cause your life to be a failure. You will most likely die in fear when you time comes. This is why many successful people are depressed. They won the prize in the material world and won the battle in the court of public opinion. However, they never took the time to win the battle against internal negativity. This is a battle that you must fight and win on your own. No counselor can help you. No life coach, guru, or psychologist can fight the battle for you. The best they can do is make you aware of the internal negativity and throw you in the ring. What you do in the ring is your call. What you lose in failing the battle with you’re internal negativity is everything.
Now do not think I am getting all new age on you. I do not believe in forgiving people that have screwed you over. I am not encouraging you to seek revenge on people that have done you wrong either. However, I also do not believe in dwelling on the negative actions of others or focusing one’s energy on revenge. Such actions result in slavery to negative energy rather than the release and conquering of negative energy. The lesson to learn from people burning you in the past is the avoidance of letting it occur again. Live another day, grow stronger and wiser and move on. You have better things to do with your short life.
You also do not have to give up your life in the world and become a monk in the middle of nowhere. While it is not a bad thing to get away from it all, it is essentially another form of distraction. Eventually you have to leave the sanctuary and get back in the battle. You need to stay in the world and win the internal battle within and help others do the same.
Why do people avoid the internal battle within? Because it is PAINFUL! It may not be physically painful. It is not the same as getting punched hard in the face as I know all too well (actually it is not all that bad ;-). However, it is a major blow to your equilibrium. Fighting your negative energy forces you to go to a negative place that can feel like a bottom less pit. Regardless, it is a place you need to go at some point in your life and it might as well be now. What will be your reward? Emancipation in its purest form and the confidence to be unstoppable in every other area of your life.
Goals that once felt overwhelming will be laughable. Trivial concerns that used to dominate your mind will fall to the wayside. You will be in the world, but not of the world. You will learn how to put in your best efforts in everything you do without being attached to the results. Acting for the sake of being your best and being fully present in the moment results in liberation.
Accept the pain, welcome it, fight the internal negativity within and achieve liberation. You will be a better and stronger person to everyone in your life and to yourself in return.